Tag: poetry

Another

scottneelan1 Comment

Another night
another fantasy
another dream of what may never be
another stop along the road
another mile down the path of least resistance
another breath
another stony silence
another day of living without life
another broken promise
another failure to see the world turning
another attempt to stem the tides
another moment slipping between fingers
another defeat for lack of even trying
another sigh
another shaking head

…and still I cannot change

Just found this in my drafts. No clue what it was inspired by, and not sure why I never published it before.

Until You

scottneelan

You drop into my boring life
A splash of color
a ray of light
you give me something
I didn’t know I needed
you drag me places
I’d never dream of going
you fill a hole
I didn’t even know was there
and just as quick you’re gone
a flicker, a flutter
and back to the empty spaces
back to the monochrome
back to the boring life
and to the something missing I never knew I needed
…until you.

Looks like this weekend is gonna be a goldmine for me creatively. Personally/emotionally, not so much, but such is life, I suppose. This one is kind of a follow-up to the last one, as time marches on and more things happen. Again, I don’t share specifics on here too often, so I won’t say what’s going on exactly. Just consider these snapshots in time as to how I’m feeling as things unfold (or, more accurately, don’t unfold)

Into Her Soul

scottneelan

I saw into her soul last night
Only a glimpse
Only a flutter
But it was there just the same
For mere moments
We connected
We united
And I could feel her
So close
So near
I lost myself again in depths forgotten
Her grip on my heart once again fastened
And here I am again
Lost in someone
Someone that will never be mine
But how can I be free
When I saw her soul
When we connected
When we could be so much for each other?

So this one’s inspired by the same events as my earlier post “Missed Opportunities”. I can’t get into details too heavily, natch, but I’ve found myself in a situation where I could’ve had exactly what I’ve wanted since high school and instead talked myself out of it.  I’m still waiting to hear from…well, someone, since the events, and I’m a little anxious to see/hear what happens…

Might’ve

scottneelan

Here I am
Wondering what might’ve been
If I had just
Done it right
At the right time
The right place
The right way
How would it be
To be holding you
In my arms right now
To be sleeping next to you
To wake up to you
To savor every moment
Spent with you
If only…
If only I had taken the chance
If only I knew then
If only I’d acted way back then
When it might’ve mattered

Here’s a relatively new piece, written while feeling dangerously nostalgic and somewhat melancholy. It really could be about any number of people/events in my life, which is rare. Usually the things like this one are much more specific.

Much later edit: gotta call BS on myself here from the future. I know EXACTLY who this is about, I just didn’t want her to know it was about her at the time. I dunno if she reads this or not, or if she’d guess this was about her, so…

Under Yesterday’s Shadow

scottneelan

things are never quite as you remember
when you find you’ve been away
time takes its toll
memories fade
seasons pass
and take with them the days we knew
try as they might
no one can stop the clock
entropy is an inescapable truth
but something can always be made of the future
and sometimes the past comes back to life
so here’s to the world under yesterday’s shadow
and reforging paths we never got to take
righting the wrongs
reliving the magic
and to the future, whatever it may bring

Rather than do my now-usual “I’m still alive” post, I figured my most-recent piece of poetry would be a better return to active blogging. This one was inspired by a story I read online recently combining with my usual holiday season nostalgia and swirling together into something semi-poetic. 

Now, I hesitate to make any promises about regular postings anymore, all things considered, but I can say they will be a lot more consistent than they have been…

Before the Stillness

scottneelan

Under the early morning sky
A thousand questions running through my head
keeping me from slumber
I see her
All the possibilities spread out before me
An endless net of uncertainty
At the center only me
Paralyzed by what could be
Dooming myself by default
Analyzing every twist and turn
Thinking things to death
We play the same game
As far as I can tell
But if I’ve misread the signals
If I’m shooting in the dark again…
Would that hurt more than the rejection?
Get a grip
Time to wrap my insecurities
In a blanket
A mercy killing
For what is life without risk?
Without chance?
Would a possible fleeting pain be worse
Than a sure goodbye?
…likely no.
Sure as the moonlight slips in the window
I must make a move
Before the stillness erases my path

I know EXACTLY where this one came from, and I’m not tellin’. Suffice to say it wouldn’t let me sleep tonight ’til it forced it’s way out of me.

Untitled

scottneelan

shadows dancing
on the edge of perception
stripping my sanity
losing ground
losing grip
going, going…
there it goes again

see them play
the precipice of reality
fantastic nightmares
born of broken thoughts
off the wall
no king’s horses here
just another fool
seeing past serenity
a man and his shadows
a world of secrets
just beyond the veil

Don’t ask, really. I can only blame this one on way too much prog rock on Spotify.

At The End of The World

scottneelan

It was just one night
at the end of the world
You showed me your soul
such beauty and grace
flooded in mystery
a glint of steel
softness and silence
I tried to reach out
missed the signs
look, but not touch
and I was found lacking
(in what, I’ll never know)
a fleeting glimpse
stripped of nirvana
cast out of eden
you pulled away
into the night
taking all color
all light, all life
into oblivion with you
alone as the sky falls
alone as the mountains fall
it was just one night
at the end of the world
you took my breath away
as the stars faded
then walked away
leaving me empty
awaiting the end…

I have no idea where this came from, exactly. I had two of the lines come to me separately over the last day or so, then combine in my head and force their way out as this. Sorry for not keeping this place updated, for those of you who actually pay attention. It’s been a one heck of a ride lately. Hopefully I can find some time to devote to this place in the near future.

“Life Led in Darkness”

scottneelan2 Comments

All this time and effort
trying to shake the feeling
what is, was, shall never be
a discordant symphony
ringing in my ears
visions of you
between the twilight
still waiting, wondering
something sudden
something secret
a hidden world
straining so hard
to fill the void
what lies behind
what waits ahead
emotions run deep
the harsh truth
burning away the nostalgia
shining light
down upon the obscure
I cannot break free
no path is clear
no road ahead
the ruins of days
from the rubble may I rise
the flames give of life
a new beginning
the shadows cast aside
a seed of hope
deep within the darkness
may it grow
to spread anew
the breath of hope
so that I might find tomorrow
a blessing, not a curse