Stop me if you’ve heard this one before
…on second thought, I’ll just go ahead
and stop myself
Because I’m over all the repetition
same words, same feelings, same mistakes, same regrets
same everything
why waste the effort
why find new ways to say the same old thing?
it’s all tired and worn
I’ve done it all before
been down this path
so many times
I can still see my footsteps
I’m so tired
of knowing how the story ends
before it’s ever written
and trudging on through anyway
’cause what else can I do?
Maybe someday
I’ll find a way
that doesn’t lead to worn out places
and empty gestures
and sad, frustrated longing
…but for now I get to take them once again
old friends I’ll never be rid of.
Category: Uncategorized
Little Piece
Missing you is the worst thing in the world
because I’m not supposed to
You’re just a friend, after all
and barely that in the scheme of things
but you’ve so quickly become a part of me
the highlight of my day
something and someone I can always look forward to
and when I go too long without you
I feel like something’s missing
like there’s a little piece of me
that you’ve taken and hidden somewhere
never to return
I think I need it back
because that part of you is someone else’s
and I can’t have it
and I shouldn’t be so tired to someone
tied to someone else
but I can’t break free
I can’t let go
no matter how hard I try
so here I am
missing you
and that part of me
and cursing my dumb luck
that you were able to take so much so easily
without trying
without wanting to
leaving me so empty
and how weak and pathetic I am
unable to fill the hole
Shine Through
In everything you do
And all that you are
Your beauty shines through
Your smile is infections
And your eyes are like staring at the sun
There’s a glow about you
An aura of life
Of joie de vivre
A promise of meaning yet unknown
I can’t help but be captivated
Like a moth to a flame
Or a fly in your web
I’m drawn to you
Irresesitible
Yearning to touch what pulls me in
To reach that soul
To nourish it
So that others may see what I do
And be as uplifted by it as I am
For the world deserves to know this secret
That only I seem to see
In My Head
Trapped in my head again
Not a fun place to be
Too much thinking
Too much worry
Too much of everything
All these dark corners
Threatening to swallow me whole
No distractions
Just unending self-torture
Doubt and guilt
Hung like curtains
Blocking out the light
Leaving me stuck
Alone
With nothing but negative voices
Shouting and whispering
Driving home the silence
I Hate It
I hate how much I need you
I shouldn’t need you
I CAN’T need you
I can’t have you
Nit the way I want
But that hardly seems to matter
Because I do
I want you
I need you
You save me
From the darkest parts of myself
You give me strength
And purpose
And sense of direction
Things I haven’t had in so long
I’d forgotten what they felt like
You raise me up
Just by being there
You’re exactly what I needed
Exactly when I needed most
But you can’t be what I want
And I hate it
No Air
Nothing but air surrounds me
But I can’t breathe
I’m stuck
Crushed by the weight
That no one can see
Atlas, falling under the pressure
Buried beneath the wreckage
Of a world that always needs more
But never gives back
Drowning in the flood
Of every broken promise
And every wasted dream
Swallowed by darkness
No room for the light to shine in.
Worthy
How could I ever be worthy
Of someone such as you
When I have so little to offer
With millions of people in this world
What could possibly make me special
Enough to the point of being yours
How could I ever hope to win
A prize as great as your heart
With naught but my bare hands
I must be strong
In the face of such hopelessness
But what good would hope be
When there’s no way to get what I want
No reason for you to choose me over any other
Other than my love
Thoughts
I thought of you again today
Over and over and over
Honestly, I’m probably always thinking of you
Your laugh
Your smile
Your warmth
There’s just something about you
That won’t leave my mind
I can’t escape you
No matter how I try
You’ve got me all tied up in knots
And I can’t break free
Even if I wanted to
Trouble
There’s that twinkle in your eyes again
Yes, that one that always leads to trouble
The one that pulls me in
And leaves me hanging
Like a lost puppy searching for a bone
With just a look
I’ll do anything you ask
And the dangerous part is that you know it
The Saddest Thing
The saddest thing
Is that you’ll never know
You’ll never know how much you’ve meant to me
How much you’ve inspired me
You gave me hope
You made me find direction
It was your words
Your actions
That gave me the strength to find my way
You are the muse
You are the catalyst
You are the star by which I navigate
The smiling face that brings me light in the darkness
The one that fills me with hope
in a hopeless world
If only I could mean half as much to you
As you have to me in such short time