Those words keep growing
in the back of my throat
choking off the airway
and pushing my tongue into my teeth
so difficult to force out
after all the times I’ve come to regret
letting them out
so burned, so scarred
by the mistake of believing them
time after time and now here I am
having to hold them back again
to stamp them down
lest they burst forth
like the spark that sets a wildfire
burning out of control
so sick of turning into ashes
having to dig to find the pieces
to reassemble yet again
I don’t think I have it in me
to rebuild myself again
and every time I’ve ever been
sure of anything in my life
I’ve learned the hard way
to never be sure of anything again
So don’t hold your breath
waiting for me to speak first
I’ll need a better signal
something to inspire
even a modicum of trust
in what I see and feel this time around