Month: May 2023

I don’t know what I truly miss,

the person or the memory

It felt so much like forever

but lasted so little of our lifetimes,

those moments of knowing and sharing,

of mutual understanding and connection

You can’t look back and tell me

that none of that was real

It can’t be disregarded,

abandoned or forgotten

Even so far removed

it creeps up on me time to time

The absence of that closeness,

the void left in the leaving,

the wasted time and effort

all for nothing but the pain

But worst of all, the thought that haunts

of what might have come to pass

had we stayed close and found

where that path we walked would take us

without the broken ending

that led to our separate ways

Sometimes it’s just easier to fall,

to let it all drop to the ground

There’s a certain calmness

in the center of the pile,

where everything has found itself

when you’ve let it go

Maybe that which weighed you down

wasn’t meant to be held onto

and once released it flies away

to someone else’s orbit,

leaving you to stand up on your own

When there’s no one and nothing left

to help carry the load

maybe it’s time to give yourself

the rest you need to rebuild and return

to places where the only back that carries

isn’t your own

I let old ghosts come back to haunt me

to keep my world from feeling empty.

They tear at the scars of old wounds that just won’t heal,

yet somehow the ceaseless noise and presence

is more comfortable than the lonliness

and isolation their screams and tendrils drive away.

So let their spectral fingers tighten around the memories

and pull them out to freshen up

and set back at my feet to trip and torture yet again.

Because better are the familiar failures

than to go and find new ones to fall into my lap