Month: February 2023

There’s nothing worse than knowing

exactly what to do

when to do it means to

give up something

you dreamed of for so long

but the dream was never really yours

and for some time you’ve suffered

not wanting to admit

that it was never meant to be

To sever even the smallest string

that ties two souls together

and cast away the feeling

that once made you whole again

but now only brings anxiety

and sadness for what might have been

The time to leave it all behind

has long since come and gone,

and there was never anything

worth the price you keep on paying

Caught up in illusion

unwilling to see through it all

to realize you made yourself

into the laughing stock

It’s time to cut the cord

before you strangle yourself with it.

She’s long since washed her hands of it,

why can’t you do the same?

I’m starting to think it’s beyond me completely

to get past what went wrong

The sight sends me scurrying in every direction,

unable to face down the impending failure

Better to keep sticking my head in the sand,

clinging so tightly to desperate fantasy

than to meet with the knowing that nothing’s the same

I’ve held on so long to the embers of failure

that my hands are nothing but ash and bone,

and yet I can’t seem to let it all go

Instead I force it inside me so deeply,

left there to burn me when I come across

the smallest reminder of you

I used to fall in love

with every face that smiled back.

Well, I still do, but I used to, too,

to steal from a dead comedian.

The real joke is cleaning up the mess

each time I try to give my heart

to those smiling faces.

I watch it hit the floor again,

pick it up and clean it off.

The bruises are adding up,

and was there always a black line there?

No matter, there’ll always be another smiling face,

a face to be wary of.

Smiles cover everything.

Smiles lie.

Smiles are an invitation

to a mystery likely better left unsolved.

And next time she smiles back,

I hope I’ve learned my lesson,

but I’ll probably just have to stop

and pick up my poor heart again.

I’m just clumsy that way.

Be careful when you open up your heart

Blood is such a messy thing

It flows everywhere you let it

Into all the nooks and crannies it can find

And leaves behind so many stains and memories

All the cracks and all the scars

Bleeding yourself for someone else

Someone that can’t or won’t appreciate

The sacrifice you’ve made

Don’t set fire to yourself

Just to fan someone else’s flames

Or you’ll find yourself with nothing left

But ashes