Curiosity

Excuse my curiosity, not that you’ll ever answer

But how long did it take you to stop looking back?

I can’t have been the only one so lost in those delusions

I’ll give you points for finding you convictions

And take them back for how you blew it up

Just threw the bomb without a glance and walked away

Surely there was something else a little less destructive

I’ll admit a clean break was probably for the best

But there’s nothing clean about the jagged edges left behind

The ones that still find ways to cut me every now and then

I tell myself your actions must’ve led you to that perfect wotld

(Even now it’s hard for me to think the worst of you)

But there for quite some time it seemed you had some shred of doubt

I’d like to lie and say that I’m fine and strong and standing

But there are scars still healing here after all this time

There’s so much that I’d almost die to get the chance to say

Though I know that chance will never come

I’ll settle for the memories, the moments and the fantasies

And the ever-present hope that it was all worth it for us both

And maybe, just maybe, one day I’ll find that you did care

Or maybe it won’t bother me when I find you never did…