They say that love is fleeting
So how is it is find myself
Thinking of each and every one
That’s left me far behind
The moments and the memories
Which once brought us together
And thd circumstances
That drove us all away
Each one still has a connection
A little piece of days gone by
Something I always find myself
Falling right back into
When the inspiration strikes
And drags me right along
In the moment I made a choice
said the words and shut that door
Sealed shut on something beautiful
that I’d wanted for so long
But the timing wasn’t right
to take the shot felt wrong somehow
And though I may feel twinges of regret
(I know I felt much more than twinges then)
I can’t help but think of the potential
for doubt and remorse that might’ve been
Wrong choices made for the right reasons
rarely are the wrong they seem to be
The spirit is willing, as they say,
But the flesh is so heavy
And I grow tired of the repetition
The same endless loop
In circles again and again
Only to end up no further
Than the place I started from
So hesitant to take that first step
For the fear I’ll only fall backwards
Right into this spot I’ve cleared
And occupied so long
Is it better, as some claim,
To keep on trying and failing
I’m not sure I have the will
It would take to figure out
I’m barely standing as it is
Bruised by my ineptitude
As I’ve been repeatedly
Maybe this is meant to be
The hole I can’t escape from
Just let me curl up for a little while
So I can try to find the strength within
To maybe stick my head out just a bit
And see what all the commotion is about
No two stones shall weather the storm the same
We all have our cracks and crevices
The channels formed from circumstances
That make us all we see and hear
Some harden under pressure
Built to hold the load alone
Kept inside for no one else to see
Others crumble into dust
Unable to escape the weight
Their bonds broken into nothing
And then there are gemstones
Polished by the heat and time
Beauty rising from the ashes
There’s no telling what may be found
On the other side of life
Without going through
The pathway walked may be shared
But the ride will ever be unique
it was nothing for you
…but to me it meant everything
and I can’t quite seem to let it go
even now, years gone by,
it still comes to me in my dreams
and though I know the times are gone
some fragment of my soul still wanders
wishing and wondering for a chance
a fleeting glimpse of what never was
only in my fantasies
the ones I let myself fall into
to hide away from the truth
what touched me so strongly
what consumed me so greatly
was the product of circumstance
empty words, empty gestures
of someone seeking an escape
with implications greater than they knew
impressions drawn from nothing
a promise of a lifetime
which was never truly spoken
desperation born of silence
the inevitable collapse that I can’t seem
to find my way clear of
that first moment, when you looked at me
still burned into my mind
and the last, with nothing left
when we both turned away
the extremes of the emotions
and the echoes of the laughter
it may have been an illusion
but one which I still feel
no matter how I try to let it fade
As much as I have to admit
all those potential futures
lived only in my dreams
I can’t help wishing now and then
that they might’ve had the chance
to find their way out of my head
and into some reality
And though I know the pointlessness
of trying to hold on too tight
to what was never really in my hands,
in the quiet moments here
I still hear the echoes
of the dreams so long gone by
and where we could’ve been
I try to keep my focus faced
In the right direction, always
But the path I tread is haunted
By ghosts of past transgressions
They follow me, so close behind
Sneaking up unbidden
And when they find their moment
They creep into my mind, unbidden
Tearing at my will
Turning my gaze back behind
To moments that I’ll never have again
And people better left to memory
It only serves to slow me down
On a road already seeped in struggle
But still I carry on
For what else can I do
But find my way to peaceful resolution
Where these spectres haunt my way no more