Month: August 2021

I could have been content

Hidden here behind these walls

That lie in ruins at my feet

Structures built to separate

And keep away the world at large

Walls you felt some foolish need

To oh so casually destroy

And flood me with reminders

Of what I miss when locked behind

You just had to chip away

To dig yourself a little hole

So deep and dark inside my soul

Then walk away and leave it empty

It’s never been this hard before

To recover from the damage

You were supposed to be a friend

But all your brought with you was pain

Now I can’t seem to turn away

From everything I can’t hold onto

All I thought I’d do without

I can’t bear to any longer

You found a way to steal my strength

Ruin my splendid isolation

And when I reached out for your help

You pulled away and let me fall

Knocked down all that kept me standing

And as I lay here in the wreckage

Somewhere out there from whence you came

You feed off what you stole from me

As I strain for that connection

That you gave then took away

I gaze upon this fallen armor

Somehow I know it’s not enough

You found a way past it too swiftly

And what it saved me from so long

Is what I’ve been seeking the whole time

And now I’m not so sure

How long I can live without it

Don’t look around

Or stop to think

Just leap on in

And end up over your head

Far too deep in something

Where nothing means what you believe

And your every move

Is in the wrong direction

It can only last so long

Before it falls apart

And you’re stuck somewhere else

You never should have been

Picking up the pieces

And trying to find your way

Onto your next mistake

You’ve hidden away from the world
I wish I knew what you were hiding from
Maybe I could make it go away
Or at the very least make facing it all better
But I can’t help someone that doesn’t want it
No matter what my instincts might say
You’ve made it all as clear as you ever will
With your head in the sand
Letting life pass you by
I can’t pull you out when you plant your feet
And I can’t carry you when you’ve walked away
If that quiet little hole is what you seek
Living at someone else’s mercy
Then who am I to judge or fight against it?
But to see you go to waste is almost more that I can bear
So I’ll be over here trying to look away
If you ever change your mind just let me know
And I’ll turn back

(originally published June 21, 2020)