Month: August 2021

In those eyes I see the sunrise

A new day dawning, sure and true

That beacon in the distance

Somehow still shining, through it all

You can’t help the hopeful feeling

Once you’ve seen into that soul

Untarnished and unblemished

By the worst the world could do

Followed the path into the fire

And stumbled through unharmed

That face still tells a story

I wish I could believe

Of a life free from the struggle

From the loneliness and greed

How I wish I could keep staring

And just lose myself in you

Bathe myself in the reflection

Of the light you can’t help but shine

How did we get here?

You used to come and find me just to talk

Now I’m thanking lucky stars for a day without your glare

I’ll never understand how it all broke down

But you know what? Maybe I’m just not meant to know

Maybe we’re just too broken in our own ways

For us to have ever had anything meaningful

Too similar, yet too different, in ways I can’t explain

All I know is I’ve spent far too much mental capacity

Running all that happened around my head

It’s time I let it go much like I’m sure you’ve line since done

It just feels like such a waste of something with potential

But then again it’s not the first time something beautiful

Has been left to die through missteps and misunderstandings

So chalk it up to another failed experiment

An attempt to feel something that wasn’t meant to be

Never has it been in my abilities

To know and understand every event

All I can do is live and learn the lessons

And hope if there’s a next time

That I might find a way

In all that came before that moment

To avoid the trap we fell into

It’s all coming back to me now

Every broken moment

All the times I tried and failed

Couldn’t be what I was meant to

Never rose to the occasion

But I always did my best

And that’s what’s supposed to matter

So why am I left standing here

Heart-broken and empty-handed

Reaching for what was always

Supposed to be fotever

But ended up as mothing

Just like all the times before

Don’t look back

Behind is only sadness

That abject stench of failure

And what you’ve left behind

Brace yourself for impact

When your turn comes

And you take that next shot

Swing and miss and fall back down

Add another to the list

Of things to haunt you

Reminders of what you fought for

And lost anyway

I hate it when I care

I’m always in too deep

Can’t help but feel too much

It’s always so one-sided

It’s only gonna hurt

When they walk away

But what else can I do?

I can’t turn my back

I can’t let it go

So I fall right in

The trap I can’t avoid

Stick my head in now

Let it clamp down tight

And choke me out again

These are the moments

When the walls fall down

And I can’t hide anymore

It feels so cold and empty

Standing here alone

That open space

Always left behind

Eating away at the heart of me

Nothing ever lasts forever

But maybe someone could stick around

For at least a little while

Long enough to help me feel

Like I’m not some disposable thing

Not worth the struggle keeping

I don’t need a lifetime

A grand, enchanted love affair

Just someone to listen

And do a decent job

Of pretending to care

Choose carefully the hill you wish to die on
Tread lightly on the place you plant your flag
Make sure you find the value
in what you choose to fight for
is worth all that you stand to sacrifice
Don’t let go of what you could hold onto
for a chance to prove a broken point
You just might find the battle
not worth the cost to win
when it takes all you have to see the end

Tripping over my own two feet

As I try to sweep you off yours

I stutter and stumble and fall

(better luck next time, kid)

What else can I do

But rise and try to shake it off

There’s just no getting over it

No matter what I try

I won’t live it down

The moment it all fell apart

Up in smoke and flame

As red as my face

As I try to avoid eye contact

Bowing and scraping

And backing away

To find a hole to crawl into

Another crash and burn

It feels so empty standing here

Looking for approval

From an audience that never gave a damn

Is there anybody out there

That can at least pretend to care

For long enough to let me go

Back to lying to myself

Help me put the blinds back up

So I can block it out

When my words go so unnoticed

And my bleeding heart lies open

As everyone that passes walk on by

Only slowing to make sure

That there’s nothing on their shoes

They might have to stop and wipe off later

It feel so damn quixotic

Tilting at the windmills

Wishing there was someone out there

To make it worth my time

But the world marches on

And I’m left here in the silence

Making my own noise that goes unheard

I tried to paint the picture

Of what could have been

But somewhere it all fell apart

The vision didn’t last

The words I weaved to tapestry

Just weren’t your cup of tea

And so here I find myself

Lost in waves of feeling

Washing out and over me

That I can’t hang on to

You stripped away what held me back

But now I feel so empty

As I turn towards the road

I avoided for so long

With no one left to stand beside

And nothing for me here

All the work I wasted

Telling tales you don’t believe in

Two worlds that seemed so similar

That I couldn’t bring together

No matter what I tried

And so we’ve separated now

All I have left are stories

The moments that we used to have

I can’t keep looking back

Let me close the chapter now

There’s so much left to tell

The role you had is over

Time to find what’s next

Let not the thirst control you
guide or lead you on
lest you find yourself
swallowing only sand
slipping through your fingers
The journey through the desert
will carry on as lengthy
as it is meant to be
and you will find the well
from which you’re meant to drink
only if your eyes are clear
enough to see it through
and if your soul is lifted
unburdened by the weight
of the struggle to define
what you truly seek