I’m not feeling it right now
And maybe that’s a good thing
But it means I don’t feel anything
I’m right back where I started
Having gained no ground
After another trip through Hell
Given back all the emotion
I’d abandonded long ago
Forced to experience it all
Same as it’s ever been
A roller coaster ride
Of sheer self-torture
Of the kind that only I provide
That sweet, seductive mixture
Of hope and irrationality
Looking far too deep again
And losing myself in fantasy
That could never be
Stumbling through the dark
Only to find the mess I made
Of my own self-worth
Once the lights are on
And I can see what’s real again
When the shadows fall away
Taking with them the lies
We tell ourselves to make it
And there’s nothing left to cling to
What’s the point of it all?
This war, once more with feeling
All about emotion
Maybe I’d just rather give it up
And never try again
Maybe it’s enough to know
That sometimes it doesn’t go the way
You dare to dream inside
And maybe it’s just better
Not to try and fail again
Because the failure’s overwhelming
And when there’s just so little left
Who knows what will happen
The next time it gets ripped out
All these times I’ve found a way
To stand and try again
But what comes of the day
When I fall and can’t get up?
Maybe I should just sit here for awhile…
