Keys

Something precious and sacred you hold

The key to what’s inside you

And while it’s meant to be shared

We’ve built these walls to the heavens

And covered them in shards

Of broken dreams and sharpened tongues

And hands meant only to take

It’s become so hard to be

What we know we’re born for

These wings were made to spread

These souls supposed to shine

And we soil them, dragged screaming to the ground

We silence them in suffering

Until we lock the doors

And forget we have those keys

But that’s not how we’re meant to live

And meaning is something we always search for

Even when we know the answer

Because facing that we’ve failed ourselves

Is just too much sometimes

But we’ve failed this world

We’ve failed and now we’re stuck

Trying to find ways around

These walls we wield as weapons

Hiding in shadows and secrets

What we should be proudly shining

A war we cannot win when none stand with us

Against a system built before

That looks to tear us down

And all the generations past

That found their own sick ways to cope

What hope have we to change it?

I don’t know, but surely we must try

As others had to have before

And hold on to the glimmer

That we might break the cycle

Use these keys we hold so tight

And open wide again

Stand Above

So much madness, so much pain

And so little beauty left

There has to be something

Worth holding onto

Do all that it takes

To give yourself a world

Worth actually living in

Bring a little beauty

Into this dark doldrum

Lift yourself and others

Long before your fall

And stand above these trials

That serve to slow us down

This War, Once More

I’m not feeling it right now
And maybe that’s a good thing
But it means I don’t feel anything
I’m right back where I started
Having gained no ground
After another trip through Hell
Given back all the emotion
I’d abandonded long ago
Forced to experience it all
Same as it’s ever been
A roller coaster ride
Of sheer self-torture
Of the kind that only I provide
That sweet, seductive mixture
Of hope and irrationality
Looking far too deep again
And losing myself in fantasy
That could never be
Stumbling through the dark
Only to find the mess I made
Of my own self-worth
Once the lights are on
And I can see what’s real again
When the shadows fall away
Taking with them the lies
We tell ourselves to make it
And there’s nothing left to cling to
What’s the point of it all?
This war, once more with feeling
All about emotion
Maybe I’d just rather give it up
And never try again
Maybe it’s enough to know
That sometimes it doesn’t go the way
You dare to dream inside
And maybe it’s just better
Not to try and fail again
Because the failure’s overwhelming
And when there’s just so little left
Who knows what will happen
The next time it gets ripped out
All these times I’ve found a way
To stand and try again
But what comes of the day
When I fall and can’t get up?
Maybe I should just sit here for awhile…

Reality

The past is long gone
long left far behind…
…so why won’t she fade
from my memories?
A picture-perfect poltergeist
Haunting, taunting,
dragging me along
for the ethereal ride
She has her own life,
however it may be,
the time came and went
But must it stay fresh,
a bleak, dreary blot of darkness
blacking out my peace of mind?
I loved her
(she loved me not)
Nothing was ever meant to be
When, then, will my thoughts
match pace with the world around me?
The plans and plots and schemes
formulated long ago must fade…
…but how much of my life
must I suffer through yet?

(originally written 7/29/2004)

As I Follow

As I follow in your footsteps

I find myself surrounded

By thoughts of all that might’ve been

Had life played out the way I planned

But plans were never meant to follow

Dreams too soon went unfulfilled

Lost in possibility

That couldn’t ever truly be

And now as all I held so close

Falls right from my outstretched hands

I wonder how it was you felt

When it all went down for you

It likely didn’t bother you

You didn’t like it anyway

But it was all that I had left

And now it’s likely gone as well

One more thing we have in common

As if that matters anymore

It’s all lost to time long gone

And though I find myself behind you

Our paths won’t likely cross again

I’ll find somewhere else to wander

Struck by the coincidence

That tied us back together briefly

Though you’ll never even know

Grab Hold

If ever the baggage becomes too great

A weight for you to carry on

There’s a spot here on my shoulders

For you to stop and rest your head

And if the road you’re walking down

Starts to stretch beyond your means

You can always come and sit

Beside me while you catch your breath

There’s nothing too great to face

When you don’t have to fight alone

If ever you need a helping hand

Just reach out and I’ll grab hold

In Their Place

Sacrificial fool
Fighting wars that you can’t win
Standing up for someone
That won’t return the favor
Giving so much of yourself
You’ll find yourself empty
And lacking the strength
It takes to go on alone
They won’t be there to help
When the call is made
You chose wrong again
Backing the wrong side
In this battle you face
It’s not yours to win
You should’ve walked away
While you still could
And now you’ll have to face
The scars they leave behind
As they let you fall
In their place

spent seeking

lost in all the time spent seeking
so long looking, all but forgotten
what it is I’ve hoped to find
not meant to understand this lifetime
abandoned to this wasted effort
searching for an unknown truth
keys meant to unlock these doors
that I’ve been holding all along
staring at the sun intently
following its light so blind
over unending horizons
down a road that never ends

Daughter of the Morning Sky

Daughter of the morning sky
put your hand in mine
let the weight upon your back
spread its wings and fly.

Lover of the midnight sun
lay your head down low
look upon the moonlit night
watch the prarie glow.

Bearer of the morning star
free your darkened mind
all around you nature grows
seek and you shall find

Lady of the gilded plain
come with me tonight
let me show you all I know
let me hold you tight.

Daughter of the morning sky
all is calm and bright
may the warmth of love’s embrace
break the cold, dark night

(original writing date unknown, republished September 21, 2007)