Maybe I just don’t know how
Or maybe letting go would be
The end of everything I am
It would mean giving up
On being what I strove for
Setting aside the last thing
I was so convinced of
The only thing worth fighting over
I couldn’t stand up then
The words just wouldn’t leave my lips
And though I tell myself
That I’d do things differently
Or what I’d give to make things right
I know I’d still fail
To even make a sound
Drowning in the darkness
Afloat only by the presence
Of the slimmest raft of lies
That I can tell myself
No matter how rediculous
And if I ever face her
I won’t live up to expectations
I won’t say what I know I should
I won’t have anything left to cling to
Because knowing beyond doubt
Beyond this fantasy
Would leave me in the depths
I failed to be who I claim
That person that she helped make me
And somehow to save myself
I’ve lost myself in madness
Unable to face the truth
That some things are just beyond repair
Holding tightly to the last
I go down with this ship