Month: March 2021

All it takes is just a moment
for everything to fall apart again
One little flash of memory
like a knockout punch from the past
Right across the chin and I’m down
I think some part of me prefers this
The broken breaking bondage best forgotten
It keeps me held tightly
to things better left behind
Clinging on to hope for outcomes
that I’ll never see
Because at least then I know
and the knowing is stronger
with the fear that I have lost
What was once and always meant to be
the weight of uncertain knowledge
keeping me away from the potential
meant to take the place
of all these memories
that slow me down and hide me from light

Under the moonlight it all looked so promising

The challenges before us hidden by the shadows

The road ahead lit just enough to show us where to go

And all those songs that blessed our adolescense

Playing at once in the back our our heads

An endless ode to summers come and gone so far away

That potential we all thought we could live up to

Those dreams like the twinkle of the stars above

Tiny specks of fools gold lining the yellow brick road

But we follow on to the best of our abilities

There’s nothing else here for us to cling to

Just those fleeting flashes of what we always imagined

When we were young and full of hope and optimistic

Before the night had given way to cold, harsh light

We still stumble forward down those paths we set

With inspiration and aspiration yet weighed down

Under the entropy of time and truth

We’re not what we once were

But we may yet find what we were meant for

Out there in the black, beyond the flash of headlights

Far past the walls we never had the chance to see

There has to be a opening somewhere

A passage out to somewhere far more than this monotony

If we only keep up the search

I stand with you
not because you cannot stand alone
but because you shouldn’t have to
No one should
The struggle never ends for some
but you don’t need to do it all
every time for everyone
Let me ease that burden
Let me walk beside you
I can catch you when you falter
I can light the path before you
I can be that little bit of help
that makes all the difference
Not because it’s what you need
but because we all could use
a moment of respite
a chance to catch our breaths
Somewhere to set the burdens down
‘lest we sink into the earth below
Let me be that hand
that holds you up and steady
though you always rise when you fall
you don’t have to ever hit the ground

you don’t have to take

what I’d freely offer

if you want to cut me down

I’ll hand you the axe

that’s what you never understood

(and how I’ll never know)

for you I’d have done anything

if for just the slightest chance

of making your life better

I threw myself at your feet

only to get stepped on

as you walked away

and even now I wish for

some way to make you smile

even as you throw my way

those not so hidden barbs

I’m not likely to get over

the impression that you made

even though it would be for the best

Break down the numbers
and make everything make sense
Put it in those ordered rows,
nice and neat and tidy
Simplify it all
right to the exact decimal
…except this is reality
and nothing’s ever simple
Life is dirty
Life is messy
Life is complications
A never-ending battle
to balance order and chaos
(and sometimes the chaos wins)
People and emotions
don’t fit in spreadsheet boxes
Not everything makes sense
Nothing seldom has to
There’s a wonder there
that this weird and messy world
keeps working all the same
Don’t let the wonder slip
trying to reorganize
compress and compartmentalize
that which isn’t meant to comprehend

There’s no real magic in this world
no real secrets left to uncover
We let awe and wonder fade away
and left ourselves to drown in the monotony
We look so hard for answers
to questions never asked
when everything were looking for
is around us the whole time
We seal ourselves away
from all that we could ever want
in order to protect ourselves
against the winds we walk head-long into
It’s all so simple
Once you strip away the baggage
that we oh so casually pile
Somewhere in the middle
of this chaos that we cultivate
is the peace and quiet that we live for
If only we could block out
the noise that we ourselves create
and learn to listen to
the quiet places
we could find a spark
a little bit of fantasy
to bring the magic back
to a world that sorely needs it

You think your words hurt?
You speak no louder
than the voice in my head
always trying to tell me
everything I lack
Throw your knives
I’ll never see the wounds
between all the scars
already on my skin
It’s a fool’s game
trying to strike at someone
that’s long since seen and heard
all there is
You’ve got no worse a weapon
than the cloud I still live under
I’ve survived far worse
than you could ever wield
Fire away
with every empty barrel
I stand here now and always
a struggle to the end

I watch you walk away again
since that’s just who I am
Every night I close my eyes
and see you light the fire
The one that burned my fantasy
You left me charred and broken
but I’m the one that had to look
I couldn’t tear away
and now here I am again
Torture I just can’t stop
The feedback loop stuck on repeat
I can’t slip away
A fantasy I built myself
The walls surround me now
My reward for rampant dreams
that grew beyond control
I suffer for the sin I sowed
tricked into belief
A mirage lay in wait for me
and now I’m stuck within
And though I try to forget now,
to let it fall away
there’s always something creeping in
to bring it all back home

fly, fly away
the earth was made to hold us down
the stars, the sun, the moon
they call
and we were meant to answer
lift your head beyond the clouds
find your feet in that horizon
let those dreams carry you
out of the reach of gravity
be free
follow the winds
wherever they may take you
don’t tarry or look back
just fly
and may whatever pulls you in
wrap you in a warm embrace
and keep your afloat