Month: January 2021

I’ve poured it out on these pages
for what feels like forever
And here I am now
seeking words to say
and finding less than nothing
An absent void of emotion
No well from which to draw
This heart is empty now
I don’t know what to think or feel
Just floating through the days
No story left to write or share
Not a thing to add
The language left me long ago
All I have are memories
Like dust they drift away
And I struggle
to fill the spaces left
inside and out

Welcome to the great wide world
Feel free to take a look around
Keep your eyes, ears, and mind open
Let this wonder overtake you
There’s much beyond that little hole,
the bubble you found yourself in
Don’t let your surroundings hold you back
Embrace all there is on offer
Find what’s out there meant for you
Take it, make it all it can be
No more hiding from the truth
You were meant for more than this
You could be something beautiful
if you’d just let yourself be
So forget old lessons learned
Take in the new and bright and warm
Grow now into all this room
Be who you were supposed to be

The truth is that it doesn’t end
(At least not while you’re still living)
There’s always another big mistake
Another failure, another fall
Another chance to learn a lesson
to get back up and keep on going
Find your feet and try again
Nothing’s ever going to be perfect
No one is ever right every time
It’s all a matter of keeping wits about you
and stumbling your way along the road
It’s not over before you find the finish line
So don’t give up or in until it’s through
Just take a moment to get your bearings
then start back on your direction
You’ll fake it with the rest of them in time

One last gift before I go
for you to enjoy and never know
exactly where it came from
or what it meant for me to give
I hope it finds you well enough
to appreciate what’s been sent
Some small light in dark days
that may grant you hope
Maybe someday you’ll realize
from whom and where it came
I hope that day you understand
just what it and you have meant
And that you can still enjoy
that which has been given,
that which you still deserve

It’s time to find another set of dreams
Your face still fills the ones that I keep having
And the last thing that I need
Is to cling to something so far gone
That all I’ll ever get my hands on
Is disappointment and frustration
I need to find a way to live my life
To give these gifts to someone that might appreciate them
To make a difference in the world
For one that would be willing
To accept me in that world
And to actually give back
Grant me a new obsession
One deserving of this place inside my head
Who understands the struggle
And yearns for something real
Something that I know I can provide

I wish I could make clear
everything I tried to tell you
without ever saying the words
For in trying to hide the truth,
just to keep basking in your light,
I instead brought down darkness
that separates us now and forever
If I could have made you see
what it was I saw reflected
from the windows to your soul
maybe I’d still find you near
Then I wouldn’t have to miss you
or all that might have been…

The struggle is real

Real and endless

And I’m so tired

Long since ready

To find my way

Through and to

The other side

Of all this

Strength is low

So hard to find

I’ll make it now

But how much more

Awaits me?

These challenges

Take everything

Every single time

Left on empty

No way out

Survival

Is my only option

When all I want

Is to live

Well and truly live

To know a world

Full of joy

I’ll go on

Hoping someday

To find that place

At the ens

Of these obstacles

That keep falling

In my way