I wish I could say that I don’t miss you
I’d like to believe it was just the way
that you made me feel that I’m still attached to
I can tell myself that a million times
in a million different ways
but every time it rings a little more hollow
Because if it were true
after all this time and distance
I shouldn’t still care at all
If it were just a passing moment
a stupid fleeting fantasy
then why are you still living in my head?
There’s still so much of my daily life
normal parts of the work we shared
that I can’t do without a flash
of some better-forgotten memory
I have to force myself
not to even start to wonder
when I see or hear something
that I think you’d appreciate
There’s so much that I wish I could share
because I know you’d understand
except you’d NEVER understand now
or even begin to give a damn
because it’d come from me
That sad, pathetic fool
the obsessive little boy
that flew too close to you
so you had to set my wings on fire
to protect what you felt was yours
I know I shouldn’t ever share
just how much I would give up
to have you speak to me again
but the simple little sucker
that I’ve found myself to be
can’t help but wish there was something
I could do to fix it all
To have back my sweetest friend
and source of all my motivation
to be the best that I could be
Because that’s what I miss the most
what you made me strive for
You lifted me up without trying
and dropped me when you felt you had to
and I’d do anything
just to rise with you again
though I know that will never happen
And no matter how hard I try
I can’t convince my stupid heart
to let go of these feelings
Though I try to look ahead
to think that there might still be out there
someone that could actually be
everything I ever wanted
I fear that I found what I was looking for
and yet can never have it
and maybe that’s just meant for me
to be this lost, simpering creature
pining for something he never had
for all eternity
