Presence

You’re still the first I think of

When I experience something

That I just have to share

The one I wish I could talk to

The smiling face I look for

When reaching for that lifeline

And it’s so sad and stupid

I never meant that much to you

We were never anything

But you were the closest

I’d had to a best friend

In what felt like forever

I put too much on you

I understand that now

Too much of my friendship

Too much of my mental state

Too much of myself

How I wish I could take that back

And never fall in love with you

Never open myself up to fall

I miss your presence still

And I fear I always will