Impostor

I stare into the mirror
but I don’t know that face
That’s a fake
a fraud
an impostor
stealing all the words
that everyone has spoken
Repeating lines and feelings
never knowing what is real
It’s all been done
so why keep trying?
I been here before
tried and failed so many times
But I keep coming back
That reflected illusion
haunts me evermore
Showing the truth
that I’ll never be
who or what I want
I’ll never have the luxury
of human understanding
Real connection
real desire
was never meant for me
I’m supposed to be reflected
in the background
This world was meant for others
not for me

Untitled

I find myself staring into the distance

I wouldn’t be surprised if it worked out

That I was looking in your direction

Not that it really means anything

But those are the kind of meaningless coincidences

That tend to give me the illusion

That my life actually matters somehow

As I sit here and try to figure you out

For the hundred millionth time

Why, though?

I’m sure you’re out there somewhere

Living it up as best you can

Surrounded by family

And the boyfriend I pushed you back to

Not even giving a passing thought

To the guy that just wanted the best for you

While I have plenty of time to think

To obsess and self-torture

To hope you’re doing well

Right before I start cursing your name again

Another moment gone by

With me lost in a pointless dream

Of what might have been

While you’re wherever are

Enjoying the results of the choices you made

While I wallow in regret

Dreams

Morning’s coming, time to wake
But I don’t want to leave this dream
I remember you dragging me here
We shared this place just for awhile
I don’t want to drift away
Don’t want to let this dreamscape slip
It’s all that I have left of you
After all, you walked away
No, it’s much more apt to say
That I woke you up too soon
When I took this world for granted
The stars and planes aligned so well
But only for a little while
And now it’s coming to an end
But life outside feels so alone
I don’t want to let you go
I force my eyes to stay shut tight
Though reality’s creeping in
In that dream I held you close
As I wake, I’m by myself
With nothing there to grab onto.

Speaking Into The Silence

I’ve been speaking into the silence
So many words
So much emotion
Trying to fill the void
Bridge the gap you made
But there isn’t a bottom
After all, I pushed you to dig
And nothing I’m saying
Is worth your attention
(at least not in your opinion)
I just wish you’d speak again
I know you’re still listening
Just say something
To break the monotony
The sound of my line voice
Is starting to drive me insane

Unanswered

Some questions are better left unanswered
Some mysteries just shouldn’t be solved
It just might be best to try and walk away
Even as hard as it is to comprehend
I’ll never figure everything out
It’s not mine to understand
Letting go has never been a strong suit
But I can’t let confusion keep dragging me down

Old Toy

Oh yeah, that’s just an old toy
I think it’s kinda broken
I don’t really use it anyway
Throw it away or something
I mean, sure, I got some use out of it
A little bit of fun
But I don’t need it anymore
It outlived its usefulness
The batteries need charging
Or replacing or whatever
And I just don’t have the time
Or energy for that
Yeah, those were some good tines
But there’s nothing that I got from it
That I can’t get from the ones at home
Sorry if I made you think I wanted it
I was looking for something then
But now I’m fine without that
So let it go
Let it just lie there
Give it to someone else
I don’t care, just get rid of it

Can’t Find My Way Out

I wish I knew
why I keep trying
it seems so pointless
a cruel trick
of God or fate
I had no chance
right from the start
and yet I fell
and here I am
suffering for it
It feels so wrong
that something beautiful
can be so painful
but that’s what comes
I guess
with no one to blame
for this failing
and falling
except my own dumb heart
that couldn’t see this coming
and ran on in
right into the minefield
that anyone
with half a brain
could’ve seen
I feel just like
the poets of old
writing about great loves
unknown
unrequited
except that they
were talented
and I’m just a fool
that read too deep
and fell too hard
and can’t find his way out

This Broken World

Please don’t let this broken world
Break you along with it
Find something to cling to
And keep your head afloat
This storm can’t last forever
And someone has to be here
To bring back the sunlight
There has to be a better time
Waiting around that corner
It’s the ones like you and I
That suffer in this darkness
That have the most to gain
And the most to offer
Once the clouds finally pass
So hold on
Fight with all the strength you can
And we can make it through