“You’ll be dead by thirty.”
That’s what the doctors said
Back when I was a teen
They were almost right
It’s been four years
Just shy of that milestone marker
That I managed to survive
What I’m sure was meant to take me
Four unpromised years
So much time beyond
What I was told to expect
And how am I spending it?
Living a clockwork nightmare
Chasing after people
(but only in my head)
Trying to find the words of praise
To fuel my codependent fire
Form whatever source I can
I should be making so much more
Of this extra life I’m granted
Surely I’m supposed to be
A part of something bigger
That’s got to be why I’m still here
Or else this time should’ve been given
To someone that could use it better
Surely I’m not meant to suffer
This lonely, mindless existence
But I don’t know what to do
And the things I desperately want
Just don’t seem to be meant to be mine
Someone or something must be out there
To point me in the right direction
This time wasn’t meant to be wasted, I know
So help me find the way