It still hurts
To think of you
Coming here to see this
I just don’t understand
I guess I never will
And the challenge is
Getting to a place
Where I know
You’re still reading
But no longer care
Enough to let it
Under my skin
Or in my head
But I’m not there
And it burns
Like salt in a wound
To know you’ve seen
These deepest parts
Of my soul
Laid bare to heal
That you bear witness
To what’s come
Of what I thought
Was more important
Than anything else
And your only reaction
Is to read silently
I’m left to assume
That I was nothing
Despite the feelings
Despite the connection
I knew I couldn’t
Be to you
What you were to me
But I never thought
I had no meaning
No impact on your life
That all we shared
Was empty and hollow
And that there’s no room
For someone that cares
In your world
I guess I’m supposed
To call it all a mistake
To write it off
And move on
But I’ve tried
And you keep bringing
Everything back
With your quiet glances
Whose meaning
I can’t comprehend
You’re stronger than me
So if this was nothing
If we’re not meant to be
Even as friends
Then cut me off
And walk away
Completely
Cut the crap
Stop looking my way
And leave me to
My nothing