If Only

If only I could find

Something that makes me feel

The way your smile did

Not the one you gave to everyone

That cute little lopsided thing

You always flashed my way

The sign of welcome relief

That I knew all too well

If only something could take the place

Of the sound of your laughter

It used to lift me up

Like wind beneath me

Carrying me through rough days

If only there was a way

To match the boost you used to give

To my waning self-esteem

And find that little push I need

To fight my way through the darkest days

But alas, it’s not to be

Nothing can take the place you left

Not in quite the same way or shape

It’s up to me to find a way

To make it without those gifts you once gave

But if only…