Self-Destruct

Forgive me while I self-destruct

You were the pin I pulled

The stand-in for everything I valued

That was better thrown away

(in my twisted head, anyway)

Than appreciated for what it was

Always wanting more

But never quite feeling

As if I deserve any of it

So here I am again

Picking up the pieces

Of another near-explosion

Wishing I could have it all

Back the way it was

I was the closest to happy

That I’d ever been

And likely ever will be

But it wasn’t enough

To quiet down the voice of doubt

It creeped back in

Took back over

And now I’m left broken

With nothing to show