Month: July 2020

I feel so pathetic
Clinging so tightly to something
That clearly never really was
Wanting so bad to feel wanted
By someone that just walked away
Missing what I guess I never had
A closeness, an importance, a lie
That I convinced myself of
I thought I could find happiness
In helping you find yours
Instead I have nothing
And you get to watch
From a distance, of course
As I keep openly dreaming
Of what was in my head only

Remember when you sought me out?
You’re the one that came to find me
And you’re still coming back to see
What is going through my head
But why do you care anymore?
I’ll never cross your path again
Unless you choose to speak to me
So what part of how I feel
Would mean a damn to you right now?
You keep me hanging by a thread
Just speak to me or cut the string
So I don’t have to think about
All the parts I miss of you

Don’t fret, world
I know my place in you
I’ll be here if you need me
Hoping to find meaning
In this broken paradise
Left behind again
Forgotten til I’m needed
For someone else’s story
It’s all right
Don’t waste your time on me
I’m not meant to cling to
I’m only meant for moving past
Once I get you free
Nothing’s ever sacred
No one’s ever permanent
And that’s just how it is
And always will be

The sun has to come out sometime
At least that’s what I tell myself
As I stumble out of bed
On another cloudy day
The doom and gloom weigh heavy
But they say all things must pass
So I push on through the fog
Waiting for the weather to change
And bring back the blue skies

I can’t do it anymore
Living every day as if there isn’t something wrong
Surrounded by the crumbling world I’ve fought to keep assembled
It’s over
It’s all over and all that’s left is for someone else
To come in and sweep away the pieces
I’m so tired
Of fighting to hold it all together
When there’s so little left worth holding onto
Everyone is gone
I’ve made such a mess of everything
That the ones that mattered walked away long ago
No one’s there
To help me put it back together
When I’m the one that needs the helping hand
So let it go
Let it all just scatter in the wind
It’s not worth stitching back together

She is all I ever asked for
Everything I never knew I wanted
And all in the world that I can’t stand
She captivates and irritates
In far too equal measure
And I like it far more than I’d ever say
And I miss it every day when she’s away
And I hate it when I have to see her face
She’s torn me into pieces
And now she’s dancing in the remnants
And I can’t find the will it takes
To gather myself from the ground
Maybe I’ll just get stuck
To the bottom of her shoes
And she can just keep stepping on me
Until she stops to throw me away

There are way too many reminders
Of someone I’d rather move on from
A friend that turned away
When I could have used them most
All that wasted time and effort
I hope it did them good, I guess
After all I cared then
But it’s long past time for that
I need to leave it all behind
They don’t seem to think of me
Why should I remember them?

No one ever sees the real you
They see you reflected through their eyes
An experience colored by their worldview
And once they’ve decided what you are
Nothing will ever change their minds
So don’t try
Don’t pull down the mask
Don’t open the gates and let them in
They’ll only let you down
Because all they know is the vision
They formed of their own devices
And the real, true sight
Will send them reeling
Just keep your mouth shut
The facade in place
And let them see what they want
Nothing good will come of showing them anyway

When you draw your strength from helping others
There comes a point when there’s no one left
They’ll all move on away from you eventually
And no one ever sticks around to help
You’ll struggle and you’ll fall
And the pieces you’ll have to pick up will be yours
You’ll find those pieces aren’t so easy to reassemble
When you’re usually the glue that binds them back

Never lean too hard on someone else
You’ll just end up falling over
When they decide to move
And you may not get back up