Month: June 2020

I was there when Icarus fell
It wasn’t the sun that set him on fire
It was for love that he crashed and burned
Too close to the flame of desire he drew
A maiden so perfect she played to his heart
Made him feel bigger than Atlas of old
Convinced himself that he could steal her away
Carry her far from the troubles below
We all saw it coming when she turned him away
The fire burned brighter than ever before
Sent him down spiraling right to the earth
There he rests broken, beaten, and burned
As for her, she lies safe in the arms of another
Ignorant of the destruction she wrought
The poor fool had it coming, after letting her in
Knowing full well she would never be his
A love unrequited that would bring the boy down

You wield my words as weapons

Aimed straight at the truth

No need to deal with me directly

When you can sit and read

But these words are open

To so much interpretation

That how you can assume to know

I’ll never understand

The only way to find

What I really think and feel

Is to hear it from my mouth

Not from the essence of my muse

Who draws her inspiration

From so much of the world around her

So as to pollute the message

With noise meant to motivate

Distract and entertain

Don’t worry, I won’t try to speak

Until you’re ready to hear

Somewhere there’s a rose
refusing to bloom
and a poor little fool
just waiting for flowers
He brought her some water
He showed her the sun
Covered her roots
to keep out the cold
Took care of her branches
ran off the bugs
and still she gives nothing
Just walk away
let her grown on her own
in someone else’s hands
she blossoms and grows

Pull that iron curtain tight

Don’t let any of the outside in

I don’t want to see the world today

It just reminds me of what I don’t have

Leave me curled up in this ball

Exactly how you found me esrlier

Life was better when I didn’t care

Let me try to find that place again

And in the meantime walk away

I will only serve to pull you down

My place in life is fairly set in stone

I’m only breathing to be left behind

Whenever I’ve outgrown my usefulnesd

Thats just the way it always seems

Not sure how I used to handle it

When it happens now I feel it more

I guess the wounds are slow to heal

But don’t you worry I’ll get up again

The last couple rounds have worn me down

This punching bag has several extra holes

But he will be back to take some more

Don’t know how much more he can take though

Before he’ll never rise again

All it takes is a moment

For something to fall apart

Just one little slip

And everything can change

That one tiny stumbke

Can make a great fall

And all can just vanish

In the blink of an eye

Take nothing for granted

It might not be there long

And when you’re left empty

With nothing to show

You’ll miss the momenrs

That you hurried through

Pouring through these wasted words
I’m not strong enough to face this
I don’t know that I’ll ever be
It’s all too much
Reliving all these feelings
I’m drowning in the waves
I can feel them choking me
pulling me back under
for all the good it ever did
to let the world see what I thought
probably my greatest mistake
showing the depths of what I think and feel
and no one cares
They’re just words
words that meant so much to me
and nothing to the ones that read them
well now I read them
I let them overtake me
and I can’t find my way out
Pull me under

Memories laid like land mines
just waiting for my footsteps
to blow up and take me down
Reminders nocked like arrows
aimed straight at my heart
ready to tear me open
Words and pictures sharp like daggers
raised silently above me
quick to find my back
A curse these things have become
a burden I barely bear
They only serve to weigh me down

It’s probably absurd what I’d do
just to get the chance to talk to you again
or even just to know that you’re okay
I couldn’t ever hope to adequately share
how much I miss you
how greatly and genuinely I care
how sorry I am that I wasn’t strong enough
to give you the distance that you asked for
Even now I struggle with the empty spaces
The silence deafening,
piercing my heart constantly
And all the words I’ve tried to share
falling into this void between us
doomed to echo and fade into nothing
In trying to hold onto
that which I treasured most
I lost control and let it slip
and now I’d give up anything and everything
for just a glimmer of hope
that something might be found
that something might remain
of what I lost
But I should know better
I should be able to turn away
much as you have
We both have more important things
to spend out chem and effort on
though I’ll never cease to wonder
just what could have been
Had I been a little less blind
a little more aware
It’s a moot point, really
as I sit here speaking poems
into the gulf between us
knowing that there aren’t enough
words in any language
to fill this hole

I pour my heart out
Commit heinous acts of self-torture
Inflict angsty garbage upon the world
And you’re still reading
I agonize over you
Where it all went wrong
And what I could’ve done
To be a better friend
And you’re still reading
I beg you to say something, anything
In the hopes it might release me
From the mental feedback loop
And you’re still reading
And that’s all you do
And all the contact we have
Do you enjoy me twisting myself in knots over you?
Because you’re still reading
Damn it, don’t just sit there
And let me drive myself crazy
You could help me let go for both of us
But you’re still reading
And I’ll keep on writing
All this pointless rambling crap
Because you’re still reading

It’s sad and kinda depressing looking back
To think you found all of these words disturbing
Have you never really been cared about?
Have you never really loved?
Have you never felt something so strongly that you couldn’t hold in in?
Is it really so disturbing to think I might’ve fell for you?
A shame, then, in a world where true feelings are so rare
That you could so easily throw away someone that gave a damn
That did no harm and caused no trouble and only wanted to help
And now you sit there hiding behind a digital wall
Wrapped up in some weird little world
And all I want to do is break you out
But you have to want to leave it
So fuck it, lock yourself away
Toss me aside for all I care
And I’ll just walk away and let you suffer