If only I could scream
or curse, or cry,
or find someone or something to blame
for the way things have gone
but I can’t
I can’t
because there’s nothing and no one
to blame
I can’t blame well-meaning friends
that tried to help me through
in their own ways
I can’t blame her
for doing what she felt was right
before we got too deep
not knowing I was long since there
I can’t blame him
just for already being
right where I want to be
I can’t blame myself
for the inevitable result
of feeling such a connection
I can only curse timing
and the inevitable results
of who I am
and who she is
and the bitter truth
that she’s exactly what I’ve always wanted
exactly what I’ve always needed
and so wholly out of my reach
