I toss and turn
as the words pour out and around in my head
all the things I should’ve said
and questions never answered
What did I do that was so wrong?
Why come to me in the first place?
I thought I had a new best friend
and instead I ended up with bittersweet torture
sleepless nights
a hole ripped in my soul
and so many things I’ll never understand
All I ever wanted was to be there for you
because I thought you’d be there for me, too
We had something special
and now we have nothing
no matter how I try to keep the connection open
it’s just not what it was
and it never will be
it’ just can’t be
and I have to face it
it really doesn’t matter how I feel about it
it really doesn’t matter what’s considered fair
What matters is that I could never have exactly what I wanted
and the moment I had begun
to be content with what I had
it was ripped away as well
and I’ll never get the chance
to find out why it had to be this way
never get the closure
never get to understand
and it’ll keep haunting me
in restless nights and second-guessing
for God knows how long
