I’m so tired from fighting
Everyone else’s demons
That I don’t have the strength
To vanquish my own
I can feel them
Dragging me down
And I can’t break free
As they surround me
Choke me
Pull me into the darkness
And I’m so weak
And so lost
And I have no one
And nothing
To reach out to
I’ve hit my head
On these brick walls
So many times I’m bleeding
A foolish fight
No way to win
(at least the colors blend)
How could I hope
To steal your heart
When I can’t even say
Out loud how I feel?
Let alone the other obstacles
The walls just get higher from here
And I’m still stuck
Outside the first one
Banging away to no end
There are so many things
I’m not sure you’d ever understand
Like how you made me feel again
And care about myself
But even littler things, too
Like hitting high notes in love songs
And smiling at Christmas music instead of cringing
And being positive
In the face of negativity
You gave that to me
And I can never repay you
I would dance with you
if you asked me to
No, you don’t understand
I’ve always been too self-conscious
to truly let myself go
I’ve only ever danced twice in my life
Once on a dare
(in middle school, I think)
I looked like a dying animal
And once in the arms of a woman
that turned out to be a manipulative sociopath
that was only after me
to make her ex jealous
…he was dating one of my friends, by the way
So to say that I’d dance with you
is to say that I like you enough
that I don’t care what I look like
to the rest of the world
as long as you’re with me
I’ve seen you smile
bright enough to dim the sun
and blind me
I’ve heard you laugh
and been nearly overwhelmed
by the joy your laughter carries
but I’ve yet to see you truly happy
only moments
tiny flashes
split seconds in the fabric of time
so much less than you deserve
…but what can I do?
How can I help you find your happy?
What can I do to find your joy?
I’m standing here
with an outstretched hand
and open arms
ready to give you everything in my power
to see a real smile
one that actually reaches your eyes
to hear the joy of laughter
and see the spark inside
there’s a promise of something
some glimmer of destiny
a promise not yet made
and words not yet spoken
but we both know
what lies down this road
so why are we waiting?
there’s a lifetime ahead
and nothing here for us
but time, ever marching
take my hand
take my heart
time to go down this path
and see what awaits us
at the end of forever
You’re standing there
With that look in your eyes
And your hands on your hips
I should be afraid
But let’s go
Whatever adventures you have in mind
Let’s face them together
Let your wild spirit guide our way
Wherever we roam
We’ll find our way back
Whatever troubles in our way
We’ll make it through
Just point us in a direction
And we’ll head off
And whatever we find we’ll get through
As only we can, together
I feel like I’m stuck
watching as your light burns out
On the wrong side of the walls you built
To keep it all at bay
And all I want to do
Is reach our and hold you
And tell you it’ll all be all right
But I can’t get through
And each time I try
A little piece of me
Gets caught in the flame
But I can’t walk away
I can’t let it go
You shined so bright before
All I want
is to see that shine again
Do you really not know
what you do to me?
Can you really not see
me hanging on your every word?
How can you miss
the way my eyes always find you
or how quickly my mood rises
when you’re there?
Does the fact that I can’t seem
to go a day without talking to you
ever cross your mind?
Am I really that hard to read?
Surely some part of you
has figured it out
…right?
when the world is still
I dream of you
your eyes
beset by starlight
in the quiet moments
I hear your voice
calling to me
musical
magical
in quiet reflection
I see your smile
against the night sky
a vision
to guide me home