Month: January 2015

If You Can’t See

scottneelan

Stuck on the outside
Watching the wheels turn
It’s high school all over again
The complaining
The whining
The shoulder to bitch on
Go figure
Some things never change
But I have
I have changed
I’m not who I was
I’ve stood here
Waiting
Hoping you come to your senses
As everyone leaves
As everyone breaks your heart
I’ve been the one behind you
Beside you
I can’t stand here anymore
I can’t wait anymore
I can’t bite my tongue
Wishing you’d wake up
Hoping for you to look
And see me hanging on
I’ve lived through this twice
Third time’s no charm
Ignored
Blown off
Taken for granted
No more
I’m done
Here’s your last chance
Your wakeup call
I’m turning away
Pull me back or let me go
I can’t take this again
I’ve wanted you so long
Loved you forever
But what good is it
If you can’t see…

Inspired by a combination of boredom waiting for my shift to start, a couple of Facebook posts, and the song”Say Something” running through my head. Pretty apt description of my feelings right now…

Vessel

scottneelan

I want to know every inch of you
Your heart beating in tune with mine
I want to touch you
Taste you
Feel you
Lying next to me
Your skin so soft as my fingers explore
Every line, every fold, every expanse
Our tongues dance in delight
My lips take in your flavors
No rush, no reason to hurry
We should savor the sensory overload
I’ll take you higher and higher
Farther, faster
Delving deeper
Peel back the layers
You are a masterpiece
Built for pleasure
And I am the vessel
Meant to discover
What lies beneath your folds

Huh. Well, I did have an ex-girlfriend (of sorts) always try to get me to write what she called a “sex poem”. Here you go, quite some years later! Not sure of the actual inspiration, or if there even really is one…

The Eyes

scottneelan

You’re never really you
Are you?
The walls are up
The facade nice and solid
The smile too wide
But I know better
Better than you could ever dream
I’ve built my own walls before
Hid behind my own facade
And there’s one thing I’ve learned
The eyes
They never lie
The holes in the armor
The reflections of honesty
Hide all you wish
Hold back everything
Lock it up deep inside
But there’s always a path
Always a portal
I won’t claim to have the key
The gates are still sealed shut
But as long as I can look
In those holes
In those eyes
Those eyes that show so much
Then I can hold out hope
To break your free

Insomnia’s a bitch. Insomnia coupled with connecting the dots on something I should’ve realized a LOT sooner is an even bigger bitch…

Later edit: This should’ve been posted last night/this morning, but right before finishing it I pretty much passed out at my tablet. For the best, considering the near-spam level of posting I did last night/this morning. Anyway, after sleep I realized this could be a retread of a very old poem of mine with the same title. Not the first time I ripped myself off, and likely not the last…

Under the Same Stars

scottneelan

Under the same stars
We lie alone
And I’m left to wonder why
Why we never had a chance
Why you never took the fall
Why I was set apart
I can look up in the sky
See a million shining lights
And yet not see a single gleam
To match that in your eyes
I toss and turn again
Wishing beyond hope
That you would change your mind
Bring your spark back to my life
So I could fan the flames
That burn inside your soul
But no
I try to sleep again
Restless in the silence
Knowing you’re still out there
And not here with me

Well crap. I was kinda hoping to not pop out another one of these tonight, but staring out my bedroom window apparently is enough of an inspiration these days to trigger my muse. I guess it’s called making up for lost time, considering that it’s been years since I’ve been anywhere near this productive. High school, I think, not counting a few creative burst periods that were a lot more spread out.

Audience of One

scottneelan

Every word I write
Every song I sing
Is for you
And maybe someday you’ll hear
Maybe someday you’ll know
Maybe someday you’ll see
The one standing here
Waiting, wishing
Hoping only for a chance
To prove himself to you
But now
Now I sing to an empty room
I speak to an empty chair
Waiting on an audience of one

This is another one of those poems where the first two lines popped into my head and wouldn’t let me sleep until I let them out.

Half Past Forever

scottneelan2 Comments

Half past forever
and you’re still on my mind
I can’t shake you
I close my eyes
And I see your face
I can’t hide from it
Can’t hide from you
Can’t hide from how I feel
How could I know?
One night, one moment
And I’m stuck
A fly in your web
As you spin away
And I’m left hanging
By your thread
Half past forever
A long time to go

I’ve had the phrase “half past forever” in the back of my mind for days. I finally decided to just use it and let whatever came after just flow. Of course it ended up based loosely on “no longer current” events.

Lost

scottneelan

When you smile
I’m lost
Your eyes
Shining bright
What lies behind
Pulls me deeper
The world is gone
Only you
And the promise
Of depths untold
Secrets unshared
You laugh
And I fall further
Joy surrounding
Lift us higher
Give me strength
We kiss
And I’m done
No resistance
All there is
All there can be
Is us
Together
Joined
All is good
All is right
We belong
The fire alight
Desire ignited
As we touch
The promise
We burn
Higher and hotter
Consumed
By the light
By the passion
Two as one

I have no earthly clue what brought this one on. Really. It just came to me as I was trying to go to sleep.

Make Me Fall

scottneelan

You say you’re crazy
well, I’m a little crazy too
call yourself selfish
I’ll play the give and take with you
you think you know me
well you don’t know me well enough
say I’m too easy
but I like my life a little rough

(CHORUS)
you say love is torture
and maybe you’re right
I say its time to find out
let’s start something tonight
something that could last forever
something that’s real and true
give me everything you’ve got babe
make me fall in love with you

tell me the truth now
you can’t hide behind the lies
your love can’t hurt me
you’ll never cut me down to size
trust me when I say, baby
I’ve read you like an open book
a modern classic
your words are worth a second look

(CHORUS)

just try and stop me
leave me broken if you can
I think you’ll find out
just how strong I really am
and when the smoke clears
I’ll still be standing, wait and see
you’ll find forever
when you give yourself to me

(CHORUS x2)

Well holy crap, I think I just wrote myself three verses of a song lyric. Thank you, “Blank Space” by Taylor Swift, for providing about half the inspiration for this, and thank you, source I probably shouldn’t name, for providing the other 50% or so. Now I just need a chorus and a title if I want it to be a real song, but it works perfectly well on its own as a poem IMO, so I’m posting it…

Later Edit: Got my chorus and my title. Love love love this. I see it with a folk/R&B, Ed Sheeran-ish style.